Freak or Friend

Some people adapt and adjust more easily than others. And some people refuse to conform. Others try and don’t manage, or even try too hard and thus don’t manage. It is not easy to determine a definitive conclusion on what is right or wrong - or even smart - in that regard. In psychology it is considered intelligent to adjust to different social situations; on the other hand, "conformism" has a rather (morally?) negative connotation – while both basically refer to the same thing.

Some people who insist on emphasizing their uniqueness choose to do something I would like to consider ‘anti-socially smart’: They find their place in and acceptance by society by demonstratively NOT conforming, by flying their freak flag. They free themselves from social norms, sometimes even managing to make others not judge them by standardized societal criteria. “He’s crazy, he’s a real cool guy, he’s different”. He might be even liked just because he so opposes anything that’s normal. He is taken for what he is... or for what he isn’t: He isn’t normal. That’s why he cannot be judged under normal parameters.
He will be left alone, spared. But the thing is, when he achieves tolerance by being different, he distances himself from the rest. So although the freak enjoys an amount of freedom others can’t afford: he will be left alone. He might be liked, but not necessarily befriended, and probably not closely befriended. Since the freak is not “some-buddy” you identify with, he won’t be the one you turn to for help, to whom you confide. Unless you have an issue that is generally not socially acceptable - then it would be the freak you will trust. But that doens't happen often enough to guarantee a lot of intimate relations. The point is: Freaks might end up pretty lonely.

So before flying your freak flag, you need to know what it is going to give you and then choose the package that suits you more...That is, if you have a choice. (You might be stuck in a role you have been playing for a very long time now)

As I often say, I like to find the middle. And the middle is hardest to find!

The Kafka Problem

Kafka asked his friend Max Brod to destroy his writing after his death. Max Brod refused this request. Still, Kafka asked him again to burn his unpublished writings. Max Brod didn't. Some might wish he had, for Kafka does give us a hard time trying to understand! But can you imagine literature without a Kafka? Anyways...that's not the point. The thing is that - whether we like Kafka or not - we were not supposed to know about all his writings.

Now what if I told you that Kafka gave me some of his writings and made me promise to keep them a secret? Of course at that time he’d only be a potential Kafka and not that famous 'kafkaesque" writer, whos name has become an adjective. What would be your advice to me?

“Grown-up” (continued)

in response to myself:

But then, you settle down for fear of ending up having nothing…and being lonely. A very understandable fear …

So you sacrifice the adventures…Its that choice we make again!! (Do I ever get over that thought?)