back in the box!

Damn! Its coming up!!!…ive been trying to keep it down but its coming waaaaaaaaaaay up! Im suffering hell…and im not used to this anymore…I haven’t lost control for years now…and its as if it was never really gone, as if its been waiting for me all along…to mock me in the end…its that shadowy shit again…it keeps popping up again and again. Its haunting me and its giving me hell. Or its like that disgusting bitter fluid inside...thats coming out...right now its halfway out and im choking on it...i wanna psychologically vomit!!!

Do I fight it or would that be all in vain? Or do I just dive into pandora's box to get it over and done with?...at least hope is inside! hehe...hehe indeed!